• Me: Hi, smallpenisboy.
  • Me: Hey, footslave.
  • Me: Hi, poopdude69... seriously?

rebuy:

if i make it to 21 i’m having a big party where i drink myself into a coma

missvoltairine:

I PROMISE you that every single depressed person has been told to exercise already, you are never ever ever going to be the first person to suggest that to any depressed person ever.

caraknightley:

caraknightley:

what do nudists do when they’re on their period

I still haven’t gotten an answer does no one know

  • 15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
  • me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance
"A woman is only vulnerable when her nail polish is drying, and even then she can still pull a trigger.”
— some great quote I heard somewhere once upon a time and that is very, very true (via noopface)
©